Betty Windsor’s paving project

Thanks to an aging English aristocrat by the name of Betty Windsor, the City of Iqaluit’s long-suffering citizens may yet cast their dust-reddened eyes upon an unfamiliar sight: paved roads.

Ms. Windsor, better known as Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, will touch down upon on Iqaluit this fall.

Out of concern for the well-being of her royal buttocks, that they may emerge unbruised from a risky motor-car expedition over the pot-holed trails of Iqaluit, some now suggest that the way before her should be smoothed, as it were.

Kidney specialists, dentists, and automotive parts suppliers will, of course, lament this development. But everyone else will celebrate it.

In Iqaluit, a walk around the Ring Road on a busy day can raise one’s blood pressure far more effectively than anything Evel Knievel ever tried. A simple drive to the grocery store and back can be like an extreme sports competition.

The people of Iqaluit know, of course, that their opinions on these issues don’t matter much to the powers that be. The city’s voters learned long ago to accept their irrelevance with sullen resignation.

Betty Windsor, on the other hand, does matter. When your face is printed on the twenty-dollar bill, people tend to pay attention to your every whim, even if you’re just another inbred aristocrat.

So we wish Betty Windor’s supporters well in their desire to spare her sovereign eyes from the sight of what we’re forced to look at every day.

Not only may this produce more paved road — this time around the city may actually hire a contractor who knows how to do the work. Long live Betty Windsor!

JB