No one really wants to die by suicide

I would like to share my experience from 26 years ago – my second attempt at committing suicide.

I don’t want to offend anybody, but it’s been a long time since I wanted to write this.

I was in the washroom and feeling suicidal. When I opened the cabinet, I saw and took a container of pills. I chose to take all of them and swallowed them all. I forced the last one down, even though I gagged.

I then proceeded to my room, lay down, and soon went unconscious. I was then aware of being weightless and travelling through a tunnel-like structure and seeing ahead of me a wide open space. When I saw people, they were standing, in an upright manner. As we came face to face, I saw their expressionless look.

As I did not want this experience any more, I prayed this: “Dear Jesus, please help me. I know this is not right. Please help me come back, please forgive me.” (I don’t remember it word for word.)

When I did wake up and was aware of being back in the world, I proceeded to do whatever was needed for recovery.

Of course, I wish that everyone else who has attempted and tragically died could be here instead. I really believe also that we don’t really want to commit suicide, but when it’s on your mind, you don’t know when you’ll attempt it.

Some day we will find out our destiny. In the meantime, let’s keep striving to help others.

(Name withheld by request)
Iqaluit