Single dad struggles as ex dodges support

DAN BENOIT

It’s not easy being a single father anywhere, but in Iqaluit, it’s even more of a struggle.

Just ask one single dad in Iqaluit, who can only be identified as T.M. due to a court order.

He’s trying to juggle raising three kids, working full-time at a low-paid job and fighting a court battle with his estranged wife, who refuses to pay child support.

In December a judge ordered his wife to make $2 a month child support payments to T.M., reversing another judge’s previous decision ordering her to pay $376 a month.

T.M. says he needs more money. He supports his three children with a net income of $2,500 a month and he’s still paying off debts his ex-wife racked up, he said.

“I want to take care of my kids, but when you’re living in a town where food is three times that in the South, it’s hard.”

It’s getting to the point where the constant stress affects his work and his sleep. He has to take sleep aids now, he said.

“It’s demoralizing and embarrassing. Here it’s like I’m in a never-ending cycle of abuse. I don’t know who should feel more embarrassed, me for having to take $2 a month for child support or her for having to give it.”

All the while, TM finds he needs more and more money to provide for his growing children.

“On average, I’m spending $300-$400 every two weeks on groceries alone,” he said.

Tack on rent, various other household bills and clothes for the kids and there’s nothing left over, he said.

“My kids are at the age now where they’re sprouting like beans. The kids are suffering.”

He’s suffering too. “I’m lonely in life. I have no girlfriend. It’s just me and the kids and work.”

There’s no legislation in place to garnish welfare, he said. “The legislation has to be changed in this government.”

He says he’s to meet with premier Paul Okalik, Nunavut’s justice minister, to discuss the matter.

He doesn’t really care about the money, he said. “It’s principle of the thing. She has obligations to her children.”

He mentioned a young woman from Iqaluit going through the same ordeal who committed suicide two weeks ago.

“The struggle for a single person looking after three kids by themselves can be an emotional strain. Is that what’s it going to take?

“Some people ask me, ‘Why do you keep doing this to yourself?’ It’s because I’m fighting for my kids, because they can’t fight for themselves.”