Stop ignoring suicide

I am writing to Nunatsiaq News because I am getting really fed up with the topic of suicide being kept quiet and shoved under the carpet, hoping it will go away.

Well, from what I’m seeing, it just seems to be getting worse and worse every year and it’s not going to go away. Recently I have nearly lost a niece and a nephew to suicide, and I have been thinking of how we as parents or individuals can reach out to people who are having trouble coping.

When a person succeeds in ending his or her own life, it just doesn’t end there. That tragedy will continue to hurt other people, their family, friends, others who are contemplating suicide.It gives the message that when things get tough, it’s okay to end your life.

It’s not okay to end your life! When one person succeeds in ending their life, others will follow. When someone does not succeed in killing themselves, they will continue to keep trying until they succeed or until someone starts listening to what is hurting them so much.

Maybe it’s your lifestyle that hurts them, maybe it’s something that is happening to them now or in the past, but it is something that is bothering them to the point of wanting to give up on life.

Whatever it is, we have to start listening more and trying to find the root of the problem. Ask them why they tried to kill themselves. It doesn’t do anyone any good to pretend that nothing happened, because something did, and nothing is so terrible that you have to end your life.

We have to learn to communicate without making judgements, without berating them for saying what they are feeling. Ask what can be done to make their lives simpler or better. Be a shoulder to lean on and make sure they know they can lean on you, let them know they can come to you for help.

My brother-in-law ended his life three years ago, and his children are still suffering the consequences. Three of his four children have attempted suicide because if dad did it, it must be okay, but it’s not. It’s time to stop giving the wrong message.

It is completely okay to have human emotions, because we are human beings. It’s not right to keep feelings hidden. It’s not okay to pretend everything is okay when it’s not.

It’s perfectly all right and normal to express emotion, to talk about our fears, our hopes, our dreams and what changes we would like to see. Every single one of us is here on earth for a purpose. Life is so precious, and please don’t give up without finding out what your purpose in life is.

If you or someone you know is thinking of suicide, please think of what it will do to others and please reach out for help. There is a solution to every problem if you search for it but please don’t give up. Most of all, know you are loved.

I am writing this from experience, because I too have thought of suicide and the best thing I ever did for myself and my children was to reach out for help, and I got it. After 18 years of drinking, I have now been sober for one year and seven months and counting. I now live one day at a time instead of worrying constantly about the past or the future and it is so worth it. Thank you for listening!

To the editor, please withhold my name to protect my family’s privacy and identity.

A concerned mother
Iqaluit