The battle against abuse can be won

There has been so much trouble going on in our community since the Ed Horne trial.

Sexual abuse, we know now, is the root cause of all the violence and alcohol and drug abuse.

Being in a small community I want to remain anonymous, not to lose trust, but because I hope to reach some readers because trust is fragile and the shame and embarrassment, though understandable, is hindering survivors from seeking help.

For some time now, we did not know why our brothers did the things they did, like breaking the law or abusing others or themselves.

In hindsight, I now see them as young boys and as young as they were, their strengths at that age astound me, considering what one sick teacher was doing to them and how it is still affecting them today.

For most it is a battle of body, mind and soul. But it can be won. You probably blame your parents or yourself, but look again closely.

It is painful to even to try and remember the abuse, but it all has to come out because the shame, the pain, the violence, they do not belong to you.

These belong to the abuser. In your mind put each painful memory into a box, and grieve each one. Take your time doing this and take to heart that you are safe.

Include the consequences of the choices you made that hurt you and those close to you. In your mind when you finish, close the box, pick it up and find your own way that is safe for you, giving it back to the one these belong to.

Before you open your eyes, look back to the time and age that you hurt, look at that child with an understanding that only you know. Take that child in your arms and hold him, tell him now that everything is going to be all right.

Having known nothing else, not knowing any other way to express our emotions, it will be tough but not impossible. Allow yourself to experience freedom from the past.

For those that have lost loved ones to suicide, write a letter, say what needed to be said, that you love them and ask for forgiveness – and forgive yourself.

Anonymous
Cape Dorset