Going to the land during hardships brings healing and peace

To celebrate Nunavut Day, Nunatsiaq News invited readers to share what makes their corner of the territory special to them.

Nancy Uluadluak-Gibbons

The year 2020, when my mother passed away, is when hardships started for me. Due to COVID-19, I could not go to the morgue here.

And so, I would get mad and cry when I heard updates and information about the virus through the news and I would even pull the radio plug.

After five months, I went to my mother’s grave by snowmobile. As I was reaching her grave, I felt a warm feeling inside of me.

Today, I now understand, it was a start of my healing or overcoming my grief.

Eight months after my mother’s death, my three-year-old granddaughter was attacked by a dog and we were sent by medevac. As I took her from the dog, I held her lifeless body (like a dead person) as I ran for help and she survived the attack.

I then was overcome with guilt because my granddaughter was under my care and I felt scared towards her parents. Because of this attack incident, my grief over my mother became less and I have to look after my family who are alive and not be grieving for my loved ones who are passed.

Even though I had a job, due to bills that I had to pay, I had to pay off debts and was not receiving my paycheques since they went directly to my debts.

I then found out and learnt that money is not what I need and need to live for.

My family who lives with me, helped me buy food and the things I need.

Due to hardships and the suffering I was going through, I then resigned from my job.

Today, after a year of all these hardships, I am writing about what I went through.

Looking back, I do not want to go through what I went through ever again, I cannot go back to the past, my life has changed and I am alive today.

I do not have a full-time job, I will get by, I have hope, as my family and love ones are supportive.

People who are against me, my hardships and the things I suffered in my childhood years are now passed and only memories, now I let them go because I cannot go back to my past.

They have given me a reason to forgive them and gave me strength to move on. Even though I do not have a permanent job, I get by because my family are supportive and they give me hope to move on especially my grandchildren.

My grandchildren give me hope to move on because they will always be part of my life. The hardships I have overcame are the reasons why I am here today.

They gave me lessons in life. Life is not easy and you will hit rock bottom. I must accept what was and what is because I must keep on living. As I must tell my story to encourage others that there is hope in life even though we face obstacles in our lives.

The photo was taken near my cabin: I would go to our cabin to heal and find peace as my late parents would tell me to go to the land during hardships and the land will give me peace and hope.

Nancy Uluadluak-Gibbons lives in Arviat.