Goodbye to my little brother

I have to let you go, my little brother. I finally know why you did what you did. I so much wish that you could have held on a little bit longer.

But I understand now, and I love you so much. I’m sure that at that time, when all this pain was in the open, it was a release for you and that is when you decided to go. I hope that you found your peace at that time.

It all explains why you were the way you were. I admire you so much in your last years for making your decision to heal in your own way. Looking back on the changes you made are what keeps me from dwelling on having lost you forever. I don’t want to live on regrets anymore. Up until yesterday, I tortured myself for not having done more for you. Now I realize that it was your battle.

As of now, I will be grateful for having been given the privilege to be chosen as your big sister. You will always be my favourite sibling, and my younger brother. I so remember the day you were born. Boy, were you ever tiny. It was so beautiful outside. It’s beautiful memories like that that keep me connected to you. You may have been younger, but later in our lives I looked up to you for adult advice. You have been through too much in your too-short life. It seems as if you knew that your life was short.

There were times when you would say that you miss our mom. I truly hope that you are spending time in her arms. Don’t forget that I will join you too some day, so please leave room for me.

My dear beloved baby brother Kai Kumu, I want to tell you to rest in peace, but I won’t, because you were chained for too long while you were with us. You were at last free. So I hope that you are soaring the skies. Remember, in the skies there are no limits, go as fast as your wings will carry out. Go as high as you need to go. Be free. Don’t even look back and we will join you when our time is up.

Now I can release you to your freedom. Loving always, your big sister.

Kumaarjuk Pii
Cape Dorset