Help for family members of alcoholics

A lot has been written recently in Nunatsiaq News about the plight of children living in homes where alcoholism is present. Many have also responded and written about what can be done and what might help explain why this seems to be so prevalent in the North.

I may be Qallunaaq, and I grew up and live in the South, but I am no stranger to the effects of alcoholism. I grew up in a family where both parents were alcoholics and, in fact, died from the effects of alcohol.

No matter where you are or who you are, the effects of alcoholism on family members and friends are devastating. It is not only the violence and the abuse, but the frustration. Frustration that no matter what you do or say, you can’t get the alcoholic to stop hurting themselves and the ones that are closest to them.

It took me nearly 25 years to accept what had happened to me, and to understand that there is no clear answer to why my parents drank. All I know is that now I have compassion for my parents, where before I had nothing but resentment.

What most people do not understand is that alcoholism is blind to race, culture and religion. That is because alcoholism is a disease. An alcoholic cannot just decide to stop drinking, just like a diabetic cannot choose to stop being diabetic. Alcoholics do not have any control over the alcohol. Nor do they have any control over what they do or what they say when they are drinking. These were all very difficult things for me to accept.

I consider myself lucky that I survived, and now I am even grateful to have had alcoholic parents. I realize now that they were trapped in a personal hell and couldn’t see a way out.

I was also lucky to have received a lot of help and understanding from other people with the same experience. Realizing that I was not alone and that other people, even people from different cultures, understood what I went through was a big help.

I do not know if there are any Al-Anon or Al-Ateen family groups in Nunavut or Nunavik. A group can be as small as two people, and there are no “leaders,” only “members.” And the only criteria for starting or belonging to a group is to be affected by somebody else’s drinking.

The Al-Anon hotline in Montreal is 514-866-9803.

For information on starting a group write to: Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters Inc. 1600 Corporate Landing Parkway, Virginia Beach, Virginia 23454-5617. Phone: 1-888-4AL-ANON.

There is also a lone member service if no groups are available in your area.

Ray Taylor
Montreal
ray.taylor@acorda.ca