Sexual abuse in Nunavut: a festering, untreated wound

There is a topic that appears to be one of the best kept secrets in Nunavut, despite the obvious all around us, and we seem to want to continue to keep it under wraps.

MLAs shrink from it, so does the leadership of all kinds, afraid for themselves at election time, if they dare speak to it and make it a priority to do something about.

No sir, they say – can’t take the chance on being voted out by angry, uncomfortable, dysfunctional voters, who don’t want any focus on this subject.

The topic is the high amount of child sexual abuse in Nunavut.

Whereas, in other parts of the country, a very alarmed, involved public is stepping forth to demand action from their politicians, police, social services, health departments and schools.

But sleepy old Nunavut sits on this one with its eyes shut and its fingers in its ears, year after year, decade after decade.

Pain and damage from residential schools and the odd perverted priest or school principal are able to attract the wrath of northerners.

They are outsiders, who trampled upon young, defenceless children we all say.

In cases like that, we seem to react quite normally to how very wrong that is. We seem to be able to find the words to express outrage and judgement against that behaviour.

But when it comes to ourselves doing it — and not them — we are oddly silent.

Far more child sexual abuse goes on in our homes and in the homes of other people, yet we don’t want to admit it or face it, much less stop it.

Classrooms in Nunavut are filled with victims of child sexual abuse. Women of all ages suffer with their terrible secret. Many men were also sexually abused by people like them.

Why is it we can point the finger at people from other cultures who abuse us, yet we have not found the strength and the courage, in most cases, to do the same when the abusers are some of our own?

How long do we continue to stay silent? How long do we continue to create conditions where sexual abusers of children can rest easy, thinking no one will ever stop them? How long do victims feel the pressure to stay quiet, rather than to tell on them?

If Nunavut is really going to progress, it has to get at and deal with this giant wound first. We cannot expect anyone to be at their best, as students, workers, partners, relatives or parents, if they are still hauling around the pain and the pressure that victims always carry.

People have to stop being afraid to tell what happened to them; it is the only way they will ever feel better and feel whole. Too many victims spend their whole lives feeling dirty, different and damaged and carrying a shame that is not theirs.

Instead, shame on the abuser; they own the shame!

Regardless of who abused you, they cannot be allowed to do this to you or to anyone else.

Come on Nunavummiut, step up now, so you can begin the real healing journey.

Parents, tell your children their bodies are their own and that no one, no matter who they are, gets to use them.

Don’t forget to stop and look your children in the eye closely and find out if they have already been abused and if they tell you yes, don’t ignore it. Show them you mean what you just told them and take action and do something about it.

Comfort them too and praise them for telling. All victims need to be taken seriously and listened to. They need to feel validated and valued. So much good can come from them realizing it wasn’t their fault, that they don’t own the shame and the blame.

As Nunavummiut. this is one of the most important things we have to do right now and not let this giant wound fester, any longer, in so many people’s lives.

(Name withheld by request)
Iqaluit

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